#93 “There is also a clear discrepancy in workplace behavior expectations -- I have to constantly do emotional labor, while he gets to blow up with no repercussions.”

“Working in a very small company with less than 20 people, we all have to wear many different hats. As a product manager, I also take on the responsibility of planning all of our social events. As part of our holiday party in December, I was given a large enough budget to include two sets of AirPods in the white elephant gift exchange. There was another much older engineer at the company who really wanted one of the sets for his kids. When it was my turn, I was delighted that I had a chance to claim one of the AirPods which he was holding. (In a white elephant exchange, you have the option to steal a gift that's already opened or unwrap a new one.) Instead of laughing and playing along, he deeply sighed and said fine, throwing the AirPods onto the ground. I had to walk into the middle of the circle to pick them up off of the floor and return to my place on the circle. I was embarrassed and felt disrespected, and couldn't help but think that he would not have behaved that way if the person stealing the AirPods from him was more like him -- maybe older, also a man, also a parent. There is also a clear discrepancy in workplace behavior expectations -- I have to constantly do emotional labor, while he gets to blow up with no repercussions.”