#85 “I was a fourth year computer science student - the only woman or person of color in my graduating class…”

“I was a fourth year computer science student - the only woman or person of color in my graduating class, and I was flown out to one of those all day tech interview slots. You know the one - 5 interviews a day, ~10ish other seniors (all white, all male) all nervously waiting in suits at breakfast to be driven to the campus. I was nose deep in an algorithms textbook when the typical conversations started - what school are you from, what's your name, etc etc. I say my name, and receive the typical inflections of 'oh that's an interesting one'. I listen politely to all the other names and schools even though all I want is to continue studying. As we're told that our ride to campus has arrived and I'm making my way over I hear one of my fellow interviewee say exasperatedly - 'I guess there goes my shot at this, we all know they're probably filling the diversity slot today.' - Just like that, the first explicit foreshadowing of the countless ways that this sentiment would manifest in my life in this industry. Sure, I learned how to communicate effectively in an interview that day. I also started the process of learning how to smile- afraid that saying anything wouldn't be worth the discomfort of the awkwardness. I learned to push it deep enough down to where I could only reach it if my gag reflex was activated - deep enough that I can always feel it lodged in my throat, but not interfere with further daily assimilation.”